Engaging Mexicans

I lived in Mexico for six months in 1974-75, visited up to three times a year in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s, taught English in a community college there earlier this decade and continue to give talks on cruise ships docking in Mexican ports, most recently in November ’09.

There are some things Norte­americanos don’t seem to “get” when traveling in Mexico and which, to put it bluntly, lead to some stress.

For example, Mexicans shake hands upon greeting and parting, but the handshake is not one like WE do as though to prove we’re macho. While we think that a “hard” grasp shows we’re honest and strong, such a handshake offends a Mexican. Instead, their handshake is “soft.”

Another thing is the “eyes.” While we think that staring into eyes shows we are “honest,” Mexicans generally believe it is a tiny bit rude to look directly at a person for more than a few seconds. When a Mexican does not look directly at a Norteamericano, the Norteamericano incorrectly sees that as “shiftiness.”

Another tendency sometimes leads to humorous blushes. Mexicans believe in coming close to the person to whom they are speaking. The Norteamericano keeps backing up, backing up, backing up until it’s almost like falling off the Alps (à la Auntie Mame’s husband as she took his picture).

One other thing that puzzles visitors to Mexico, especially in more rural areas, is the basket by the toilet. It’s for used toilet paper and is necessary because of the poor plumbing systems that plague much of Mexico (and other areas of Latin America as well as China and Africa, where the same basket deal also is often used).

Lastly, I recommend that anyone planning to visit Mexico read “On Mexican Time” by Tony Cohan. It’s so great, giving a “cultural” look at Mexico. (His second book is not nearly as good.)

CHLOE RYAN WINSTON

Redding, CA